Sillies

This is a good one.

This is a favorite.

The croc hunter would not do this!

Here are some older videos from my site, some work.

Summer

It's hot!

Oh Ken

Now Ken, do you really see the need to blast the show that made you rich?
I've gotta say, I've lost respect for the guy. You just don't say things like this. here is a little of what Ken said:

Dear Jeopardy!,
Hey, I hope you remember me. It’s been a while since we talked. We were a bit of an item a couple years back, in all the papers, but I think we both know that was just a summer thing. The last time we saw each other…well, the magic just wasn’t there. That’s why I don’t mind when I see you with a new special someone. Or two. Nearly every night! … I’m sorry, is this sounding passive-aggressive? I don’t mean to badger you. I remember that, when we were together, it seems like all I ever did was nag you with questions.
Let me start again. What I really wanted to talk to you about was your image. You’ve got a good twenty years on you now, and that’s Trebek-era alone. Times have changed since your debut, but when I watch you, it’s the same-old same-old: the same format, the same patter, the same fonts, the same everything as when I first crushed out on you in fourth grade. You’re like the Dorian Gray of syndication. You seem to think “change” means replacing a blue polyethylene backdrop with a slightly different shade of blue polyethylene backdrop every presidential election or so. Would you mind a few suggestions on how you might really freshen up your act a bit?
First up, the categories. Maybe when Art Fleming was alive, America just couldn’t get enough clues about “Botany” and “Ballet” and “The Renaissance,” but come on. Does every freaking category have to be some effete left-coast crap nobody’s heard of, like “Opera,” or, um, “U.S. History” or whatever? I mean, wake me up when you come up with something that middle America actually cares about. I think it would rule if, just one time, Alex had to read off a board like:
PlayStation
The Arby’s 5-for-$5.95 Value Menu
Reality TV
Men’s Magazines
Skanks from Reality TV Who Got Naked in Men’s Magazines
Potpourri
Second, the “Clue Crew.” See, this is what I’m talking about. You want to hip up the show, and Trebek’s not getting any younger, so why not have five attractive young people reading some of the clues instead? I’ll tell you why not: because they look like they beamed in from some 1970s PBS show. The van from Big Blue Marble got frozen in a glacier and suddenly here are these five wholesome, now-getting-creepily-old “youngsters” in 2006, driving around in a van solving mysteries and yammering on about Fort Sumter or the canals of freaking Venice. You know what would be awesome? Suddenly the Clue Crew is reporting from some dark forest. The “Brain Bus” or whatever ran out of gas and they’re looking wan and emaciated. Then, one show, one of them disappears (I’m thinking Jon, but we should discuss) and the other four are looking a little better-fed. The clues they read are now like, “This rugged, isolated forest stretches for miles somewhere in the eastern United States, with little game or fresh water.” And then she looks at the camera and adds, “No really! We don’t know where we are! Alex, for the love of God, send help!” Then the tape cuts out. It’s Blair Witch, only, unlike Blair Witch, it’s not a hoax. You really drive them out somewhere and leave them.
Third, that damn electric blue everywhere in your decor. Was that hip in 1984? Was that the only electronic-age color that Solid Gold wasn’t using in their set that season? Why do you want your show to remind me of my TV screen when there’s no tape in the VCR? Here’s what I’m seeing instead: bright fire-engine red behind all the clues. If you start to get viewer letters (median age of Jeopardy!’s viewership: 91) telling you that the new red clues “angry up the blood” then you have done well. If the same viewers are also outraged that Crankshaft has been replaced with The Boondocks, do not be alarmed. They have confused you with the comics page editor of their local newspaper.
Fourth, why are there no physical challenges? It doesn’t have to be Nickelodeon déclassé, buckets of green ooze falling from the ceiling. It could be tasteful and restrained. Like, if you know the answer, you have to run from your podium to the gameboard, jump up to touch the clue in question, and give the answer. “What is an Arby-Q?” Then you run back to your podium to select again. Some of these contestants, frankly, could use the exercise. Oh, also, there are angry bees.
Finally, Alex. I know, I know, the old folks love him. Nobody knows he died in that fiery truck crash a few years back and was immediately replaced with the Trebektron 4000 (I see your engineers still can’t get the mustache right, by the way.) But that’s beside the point: “Alex” is the franchise. You can’t just bring in Ryan Seacrest without warning, more’s the pity. But I think a few little host tweaks would do a lot of good.
On Price Is Right, Bob Barker ends every show with a plug for his personal favorite cause. “Spay or neuter your pet!” or whatever. Something like this would humanize Trebek. I propose a new sign-off, along the lines of, “Can our returning champion do it again on tomorrow’s show? Tune in and find out, everybody. Legalize cannabis. Good night.”
You know how Trebek likes to read foreign words in these thick, strained accents, thinking he’s being muy auténtico? He should continue to do this, but instead of delivering them himself, he needs to have a little ventriloquist’s dummy with a sombrero to pipe in with those words. (The sombrero can be switched with a beret for French words.)
Whenever Alex says “Correct!” to a contestant, he should do the two-index-finger point, like Isaac in the Love Boat credits.
You and I have a lot of history, Jeopardy! You know I think the world of you…you’re putting my kids through college, for crying out loud! So I think I can be open with you in a way that others just can’t. I hope you take this advice in the spirit in which it was offered. Remember, I only criticize because I…
Love,
Ken

I'll make you smarter!

Hopefully the following grammar mistakes are not being made. If they are you need to be a bit ashamed but don't do it again. From this site.
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#1: Loose for lose
No: I always loose the product key.
Yes: I always lose the product key.
#2: It's for its (or god forbid, its')No: Download the HTA, along with it's readme file.
Yes: Download the HTA, along with its readme file.
No: The laptop is overheating and its making that funny noise again.
Yes: The laptop is overheating and it's making that funny noise again.
#3: They're for their for there
No: The managers are in they're weekly planning meeting.
Yes: The managers are in their weekly planning meeting.
No: The techs have to check there cell phones at the door, and their not happy about it.
Yes: The techs have to check their cell phones at the door, and they're not happy about it.
#4: i.e. for e.g.
No: Use an anti-spyware program (i.e., Ad-Aware).
Yes: Use an anti-spyware program (e.g., Ad-Aware).
Note: The term i.e. means "that is"; e.g. means "for example". And a comma follows both of them.
#5: Effect for affect
No: The outage shouldn't effect any users during work hours.
Yes: The outage shouldn't affect any users during work hours.
Yes: The outage shouldn't have any effect on users.
Yes: We will effect several changes during the downtime.
Note: Impact is not a verb. Purists, at least, beg you to use affect instead:
No: The outage shouldn't impact any users during work hours.
Yes: The outage shouldn't affect any users during work hours.
Yes: The outage should have no impact on users during work hours.
#6: You're for your
No: Remember to defrag you're machine on a regular basis.
Yes: Remember to defrag your machine on a regular basis.
No: Your right about the changes.
Yes: You're right about the changes.
#7: Different than for different from
No: This setup is different than the one at the main office.
Yes: This setup is different from the one at the main office.
Yes: This setup is better than the one at the main office.
#8 Lay for lie
No: I got dizzy and had to lay down.
Yes: I got dizzy and had to lie down.
Yes: Just lay those books over there.
#9: Then for than
No: The accounting department had more problems then we did.
Yes: The accounting department had more problems than we did.
Note: Here's a sub-peeve. When a sentence construction begins with If, you don't need a then. Then is implicit, so it's superfluous and wordy:
No: If you can't get Windows to boot, then you'll need to call Ted.
Yes: If you can't get Windows to boot, you'll need to call Ted.
#10: Could of, would of for could have, would have
No: I could of installed that app by mistake.
Yes: I could have installed that app by mistake.
No: I would of sent you a meeting notice, but you were out of town.
Yes: I would have sent you a meeting notice, but you were out of town.

Fun Stuff

This is a funny parody using James Earl Jones movie lines.

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Fun Night, a flying nightmare.

Thanks United Airlines for being such a kind company.
Yes my flight was delayed by you making me miss my connecting flight.
Your employess kept assuring me I would make my flight from DC to Portland.
I loved the sad little irony that we had to wait for the plane going to Portland to leave before we could dock.
It's fun when I land to see my next flight slowly wheel pass me.
I enjoyed waiting in line for an hour to try to do something. The lady in front of me was crying, her vacation ruined.
Even though it was Friday night thanks for telling me you could get me to Portland on Monday maybe (stand by).
Thanks for refusing to do anything: pay for a hotel, book a flight on another airline, give me first class seats that were still available ("no we can't give you those, those are first class.") Not even a meal voucher like the screaming Japanese guy in front of me received.

I like that United: "we're going to make a mistake but offer no way to fix this mistake and give none of your money back."

In the end I was forced to sleep at the airport as they took three hours to find my luggage. I had to take a flight to Boston and try to find a way home from there. I lost an entire day after what was already an exhausting business trip.

I was lucky to have met two nice ladies who I hung out with which made the experience much better. We became the tired yet determined crusaders slowly finding our way home. The three of us were exausted after our 24 hour trip with no sleep or food. I got home and slept which is why it is 4 Am and I am writing this.

All in all it was kinda interesting and I learned some things.
I talked to many people also stranded , each with their own uniquely miserable story.
I learned that wheelchairs make good foot rests.
Your dog or cat you have as a "carry on" is going to go the bathroom. Why are you bringing it on the plane? It is terrified.
Airlines are not accountable. Flying is not fun. We should have rented a car from DC and drove.

Night at the Museum

I know it looks silly but Ben Stiller, Owen Wilson, and Robin Williams could make for a very funny film. Check it out.

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Off on another business trip this week.

The Best Films of 2005

I know, I'm a bit late on this.
I finally had a little bit of time.

2005 Films

Pickle Phobia

This is pretty funny.
You gotta credit Maury for keeping a straight face.

This girl is deathly afraid of pickles!
Leave it to Maury to bring her to a pickle factory and watch her freak out.

Also in the strangle department is this.
This too

Castle Valkenburg a task force game

I bought this on Ebay recently for obvious reasons. This was a series of games mae in the late 70's early 80's set at Castle Valkenburg. It was one of the games that originally battled with
D @ D and lost. I may play the game just to see if it was any good.

World Cup Soccer

I tried. I watched almost every game thanks to Tivo. I gave soccer another chance to see if it is really as boring as I remember it. It is.
This article sums it up well. Americans just do not like soccer. I know it is the most popular game in the world but most people here are not even aware the World Cup is going on.

I played soccer as a kid for a little while. The problem is that soccer does not compare to Baseball, basketball, and football. Hockey and lacross may even be ahead.

I do not like the way the players try to fake their injuries, constantly falling and often crying.
I know basketball players do this to an extent, but watching a sport where you see grown men cry after they fall is not very appealing to me.

Here is a good quote:

"That Americans have a love-hate relationship with soccer is indisputable," columnist William Mattox Jr. wrote last week. "We love to play the game, or at least to have our children play it. But we hate to watch it.

So the rest of the world can have soccer. I'm sure they are glad Americans do not like the sport anyways. We'll never be any good but nobody will really care.

Dog Whisperer!

Yes! Dog whisperer is now on DVD!

This is a mildly amusing show but it just cracks me up. The guy who helps the dogs actually does know what he is doing. If you have an unruly canine friend this show could help you out.