Jeff Spicoli finally gets his props

Fast Times at Ridgemont High was recently added to the National Film Registry at the Library of Congress. I love fast times and have since I was a kid but seriously, what are they thinking? There are like 5 movies from the 80's and only three from the nineties (Unforgiven, Toy Story, Shindler's List)

I dunno, its a silly list. This is Spinal Tap is on it too. Crazy.

Kingdom of Heaven and Spongebob

I saw something last night that borders on magical. I was driving to a friend's new place and noticed a not so uncommon and tacky Christmas display complete with giant glowing Santa's, Frosties, etc. I then saw a giant glowing Christmas Spongebob! It was glorious.
There is a new years party tonight at his place. I'll try to get a nice picture and perhaps a few other tacky Christmas lawn decorations. I think Maine may be the tacky giant Christmas plastic lawn ornament capital of the world.

I for one am proud of that. All Mainers should be proud!
I'm especially loving the new breakthrough for 05. The giant plastic bubble scenes (those things you shake up and snow flies everywhere). Imagine those but giant sized! There is one right near me which I will go and take a picture of this morning. It is so horrible it borders on art.
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Anyways on to other things. If you saw Kingdom of Heaven in theatres you probably thought it was a movie with great action but was missing something. Here is the guy who made Gladiator and Black Hawk Down recently (not to mention Alien and Blade Runner).

This film could have been a classic but it felt empty. They got great acting (Edward Norton, Eva Green, Liam Neeson, Jeremy Irons, David Thewlis(see Naked to see how good he can be), and that pretty boy metro guy from England.

I'm excited to see the director's cut. If you live in a larger city it may be showing. This will not come to Maine. We'll get Cheaper by the Dozen 2 instead.

Below is an exerpt from Moriarty:

Mainly, though, it’s Ridley Scott and William Monahan who should be most upset about what happened to this film. Monahan took a fairly small piece of history, invented a story that expertly wove a character into a real situation in a way that enlightened this time and also comments on why we’re still seeing the same bloody battles being fought over that same piece of land now, and he made it all very human, something you can relate to. Ridley Scott took everything he’d done on BLACK HAWK DOWN and GLADIATOR and then stepped it up a notch, and in doing so, he made a better movie than his Oscar-winning smash hit. All the hard work that they did, along with their entire who’s who of talented technical collaborators, turned out to be for nothing, though, because someone looked at the running time and panicked. Someone lost their fucking nerve, and they figured all that mattered was getting the battle scenes into the theater, that no one would care about anything else. And, yes, the battles here are masterful, some of the best ever committed to film. The reason they’re so great is because of the way they genuinely illustrate character and strategy and military accomplishment, rather than just mayhem and noise and fury and a nice software package, as with so many other big movies in the last few years. These are very specific battles, and the way the last hour of the film plays out, we see how Balian and Saladin (Ghassan Massoud) engage each other across the battlefield, and how Saladin begins to respect and even like this foe, admiring his military mind. Because Balian was an engineer, something we only learn in this version of the film, it makes perfect sense that he’d be able to figure out how to best defend the city and how to counteract the weaponry that Saladin brings to use against them. In both GLADIATOR and BLACK HAWK DOWN, Ridley Scott was learning how to shoot battle on a personal level and on a massive scale, and in this film, he puts it all together, everything he’s been building towards. There’s a sense in this film that you are in the middle of the battle, arrows racing by you on all sides, fire falling from the sky and smashing the city to pieces. It’s remarkable, and you can easily see where the big bucks were spent on the film.

Christmas, Battlestar Galactica, Corn Chowder

I was just put on the spot by my little niece. "I got a Christmas gift today from Santa but there was a slip inside that said billed to and shipped to Mommy."
I was thinking that at around her age I was crushed by finding out there was in fact no Santa. I had to think fast so I would not go down as the evil Uncle who opened her eyes to the harsh realities of our world. I did not do a very good job but said something like "Santa gets busy and sometimes asks for help from Mommy." Lame I know but the fact she believed in Santa was a bit of a shock to me.

Another Christmas has come and gone and for better or worse I forgot my camera. I just finished off the last of the corn chowder and am feeling full but in full anticipation of eating more since it is Christmas.

I don't know how many episodes of Battlestar my sister and I just watched. Enough to dream about it last night for me and for her to say "And so say we all" after grace during Christmas dinner. Even if you are not a hardcore sci fi fan this show is worth checking out. It has passed the ailing Lost as the best show on television. I kind of look at this as 24 in space. I don't mind copying the style of a great show like that. I have 2 episodes left from the new season 2 DVD box set. The second half of the season will air in January.

Releasing half of a season in a DVD box set is a huge waste of money. I shelled out the 35 dollars only because I am totally hooked. You may want to just check these out on Netflix.

Why is Battlestar the best show on TV? Like season one of Lost, Battlestar has all the key elements of greatness: Story, acting, suspense, continuous storyline, and no silly bad haired boy and space muppits the original had. The mythology is complex. The humans are pagans in the tradition of the Ancient Greeks. The Cylons believe in one God. They are androids who believe they are motivated by a higher power (instead of Asimov's laws of robotics); maintaining a species' existence after Armageddon.

I don't want to come off like I hated the original series. Most of the Star Wars special effects team did the original battlestar effects and even today they are excellent. The Cylons were better with their body armor and swords. What I did not like was the story arcs the original took. They had great actors on par with today's series, but with locations like the "casino planet" the series diverted too much and lost its sense of purpose.

Anyways, I hope everyone had a Merry Christmas. Thank You Auntie Ker for the Christmas Eve get together one last time at the river house. I'll be back tomorrow ready for some more tofu lasagna. Hopefully it will not take four people to get my car out of the snow this time.

TJ

PoorSpongebob. After being sewed up countless times it looks like his time has come finally. He appears to be minus a leg and arm.

Holiday Films:

Memoirs of the Geisha-- This looks pretty dull I'm afraid. I liked the book but am not sure it will make a good movie. Here's hoping.

Narnia-- This looks pretty cool. The books are mainly written for children so hopefully they can pull of a decent movie for all ages kind of like Harry Potter managed to do.

King Kong-- Peter Jackson can do no wrong. Here's hoping for three hours of good old fashion action.

Munich-- This is the film I am really looking forward to. The preview looks so good. Spielberg may have another classic on his hands.

The Ringer-- a guy pretends to have a mental condition to go to the special Olympics. South Park already did this and even that was pushing it.

Hoodwinked-- A twist on the tale of Little Red Riding Hood. The film begins with the investigation at Granny's house with a wolf, an ax and a little girl on the scene of the crime.

The Squid and the Whale-- Don't know anything about it but Stephen King rated it the best movie of the year. I can't go against a fellow Mainer. He however cheats because this movie will never play in Maine. He says he saw it in New York.

The New World-- This looks pretty cool and has a good cast. I would say this is right up there with films I want to see this month.

That special gift

If you're a woman looking for that extra special gift for your man I have the perfect gift for you.

Chuck Norris

29 facts about Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Chuck Norris instead decided to punch his way out of his mother's womb. Shortly thereafter he grew a beard.

When Chuck Norris plays Oregon Trail his family does not die from cholera or dysentery, but rather roundhouse kicks to the face. He also requires no wagon, since he carries the oxen, axels, and buffalo meat on his back. He always makes it to Oregon before you.

Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.

Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.

A man once asked Chuck Norris if his real name is "Charles". Chuck Norris did not respond, he simply stared at him until he exploded.

Chuck Norris was the fourth Wiseman. He brought baby Jesus the gift of "beard". Jesus wore it proudly to his dying day. The other Wisemen, jealous of Jesus' obvious gift favoritism, used their combined influence to have Chuck omitted from the Bible. Shortly after all three died of roundhouse kick related deaths.

To prove it isn't that big of a deal to beat cancer. Chuck Norris smoked 15 cartons of cigarettes a day for 2 years and aquired 7 different kinds of cancer only to rid them from his body by flexing for 30 minutes. Beat that, Lance Armstrong.

The original theme song to the Transformers was actually "Chuck Norris--more than meets the eye, Chuck Norris--robot in disguise," and starred Chuck Norris as a Texas Ranger who defended the earth from darkside-dealing Decepticons and could turn into a pick-up. This was far too much awesome for a single show, however, so it was divided.

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

Chuck Norris can make a woman climax by simply pointing at her and saying "booya".

Chuck Norris once shot a German plane down with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"

The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.After much debate, President Truman decided to drop the atomic bomb on Hiroshima rather than the alternative of sending Chuck Norris. His reasoning? It was more "humane".

Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

Chuck Norris found out about Conan O'Brien's lever that shows clips from "Walker: Texas Ranger" and is working on a way to make it show clips of Norris having sex with Conan's wife.

If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.

Before each filming of Walker: Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris is injected with five times the lethal dose of elephant tranquilzer. This is, of course, to limit his strength and mobility, in an attempt to lower the fatality rate of the actors he fights.

One of the greatest cover-ups of the last century was the fact that Hitler did not commit suicide in his bunker, but was in fact tea-bagged to death by Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris once tried to sue Burger King after they refused to put razor wire in his Whopper Jr., insisting that that actually is "his" way.

Hellen Keller's favorite color is Chuck Norris.

When Chuck Norris's wife burned the turkey one Thanksgiving, Chuck said, "Don't worry about it honey," and went into his backyard. He came back five minutes later with a live turkey, ate it whole, and when he threw it up a few seconds later it was fully cooked and came with cranberry sauce. When his wife asked him how he had done it, he gave her a roundhouse kick to the face and said, "Never question Chuck Norris."

Chuck Norris doesnt see dead people. He makes people dead.

Chuck Norris won 'Jumanji' without ever saying the word. He simply beat theliving shit out of everything that was thrown at him, and the gameforfeited.

Chuck Norris doesnt shave; he kicks himself in the face. The only thing thatcan cut Chuck Norris is Chuck Norris.

When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes onlya picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not hadto pay taxes ever.

Filming on location for Walker: Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris brought astillborn baby lamb back to life by giving it a prolonged beard rub. Shortlyafter the farm animal sprang back to life and a crowd had gathered, ChuckNorris roundhouse kicked the animal, breaking its neck, to remind the crewonce more that Chuck giveth, and the good Chuck, he taketh away.